Fran Lebowitz - Quotes

There are 54 quotes by Fran Lebowitz at 95quotes.com. Find your favorite quotations and top quotes by Fran Lebowitz from this hand-picked collection about life. Feel free to share these quotes and sayings on Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr & Twitter or any of your favorite social networking sites.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit. ---->>>

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. ---->>>

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. ---->>>

My favorite animal is steak. ---->>>

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass. ---->>>

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words. ---->>>

Humility is no substitute for a good personality. ---->>>

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching. ---->>>

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. ---->>>

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive. ---->>>

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. ---->>>

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink. ---->>>

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy. ---->>>

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. ---->>>

To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel. ---->>>

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not. ---->>>

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood? ---->>>

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. ---->>>

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. ---->>>

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. ---->>>

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota. ---->>>

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable. ---->>>

Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try. ---->>>

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough. ---->>>

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat. ---->>>

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met. ---->>>

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct. ---->>>

Polite conversation is rarely either.

Polite conversation is rarely either.

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football. ---->>>

Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully. ---->>>

Nothing succeeds like address. ---->>>

Andy Warhol made fame more famous.

Andy Warhol made fame more famous.

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk. ---->>>

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child', for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult. ---->>>

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back. ---->>>

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them. ---->>>

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. ---->>>

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you. ---->>>

Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications. ---->>>

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add. ---->>>

Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set. ---->>>

Biography

Nationality: American
Born: 10-27, 1951
Birthplace:
Die:
Occupation: Journalist
Website:

Frances Ann "Fran" Lebowitz (born October 27, 1950) is an American author and public speaker. Lebowitz is known for her sardonic social commentary on American life as filtered through her New York City sensibilities. Some reviewers have called her a modern-day Dorothy Parker.(wikipedia)