Jackie Mason - Quotes

There are 14 quotes by Jackie Mason at 95quotes.com. Find your favorite quotations and top quotes by Jackie Mason from this hand-picked collection about future. Feel free to share these quotes and sayings on Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr & Twitter or any of your favorite social networking sites.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one? ---->>>

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs. ---->>>

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.

Predictions are preposterous.

Predictions are preposterous.

I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what's going to happen with our country in the future.

I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what's going to happen with our country in the future.

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. ---->>>

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life. ---->>>

I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to. ---->>>

I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn't know what he's talking about. ---->>>

My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me. ---->>>

My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies. ---->>>

Biography

Nationality: American
Born: 06-09, 1931
Birthplace: in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, The United States
Die:
Occupation: Comedian

Jackie Mason (born June 9, 1931) is an American stand-up comedian and film and television actor. He is ranked #63 on Comedy Central's 100 greatest stand-up comedians of all-time. His 1986 one-man show The World According to Me won a Special Tony Award, an Outer Critics Circle Award, an Ace Award, an Emmy Award, and a Grammy nomination (wikipedia)