Joe E. Lewis - Quotes

There are 25 quotes by Joe E. Lewis at 95quotes.com. Find your favorite quotations and top quotes by Joe E. Lewis from this hand-picked collection about money. Feel free to share these quotes and sayings on Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr & Twitter or any of your favorite social networking sites.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough. ---->>>

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them. ---->>>

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on. ---->>>

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty. ---->>>

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on. ---->>>

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough. ---->>>

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest. ---->>>

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty. ---->>>

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves. ---->>>

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people. ---->>>

If you want to make a dangerous man your friend, let him do you a favor. ---->>>

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses. ---->>>

I drink to forget I drink. ---->>>

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money. ---->>>

Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum. ---->>>

I always wake up at the crack of ice. ---->>>

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points. ---->>>

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin. ---->>>

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise. ---->>>

We can afford almost any mistake once. ---->>>

Biography

Nationality: American
Born: 01-12, 1902
Birthplace: New York City, New York
Die: 1971-06-04
Occupation: Comedian
Website:

Joe E. Lewis (January 12, 1902 – June 4, 1971), born Joseph Klewan in New York City, was an American comedian and singer.(wikipedia)