Ron White - Quotes

There are 38 quotes by Ron White at 95quotes.com. Find your favorite quotations and top quotes by Ron White from this hand-picked collection about life. Feel free to share these quotes and sayings on Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr & Twitter or any of your favorite social networking sites.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em. ---->>>

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability. ---->>>

The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.

The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic. ---->>>

I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling. ---->>>

There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between. ---->>>

I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow. ---->>>

I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine. ---->>>

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.

But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.

But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!

Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!

You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered. ---->>>

I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game. ---->>>

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range. ---->>>

You can't fix stupid. ---->>>

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane. ---->>>

Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin. ---->>>

There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years. ---->>>

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers. ---->>>

I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part. ---->>>

The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off. ---->>>

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out. ---->>>

I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you're a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level. ---->>>

I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there. ---->>>

I'm definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won't. Then three years later I will finally try it and it'll kill them. I got to give them more credit.

I'm definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won't. Then three years later I will finally try it and it'll kill them. I got to give them more credit.

The bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it's addicting, really. ---->>>

I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can't say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor. ---->>>

If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being true to their nature... that's what takes a long time to learn. ---->>>

I don't have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I'm going to keep talking. I can't imagine a life without doing standup. ---->>>

I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there. ---->>>

My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth. ---->>>

I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child. ---->>>

Everybody I know is a joke writer. ---->>>

I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. ---->>>

I don't do any corporate work. ---->>>

My goal is just to become a better comedian. ---->>>

Biography

Name: Ron White
Nationality: American
Born: 12-18, 1956
Birthplace: in The United States
Die:
Occupation: Comedian

Ronald Dee "Ron" White (born December 18, 1956) is an American stand up comedian and actor, best known as a charter member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Nicknamed "Tater Salad", he is the author of the book I Had the Right to Remain Silent But I Didn't Have the Ability (Dutton 2006, ISBN 978-0-525-94961-9), which appeared on the New York Times best seller list (wikipedia)