Stephen Colbert - Quotes

There are 42 quotes by Stephen Colbert at 95quotes.com. Find your favorite quotations and top quotes by Stephen Colbert from this hand-picked collection about love, time. Feel free to share these quotes and sayings on Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr & Twitter or any of your favorite social networking sites.

Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty.

Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty.

I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I found it so inspirational. Why not make myself cooler than I am?

I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I found it so inspirational. Why not make myself cooler than I am?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Northwestern's alumni list is truly impressive. This university has graduated best-selling authors, Olympians, presidential candidates, Grammy winners, Peabody winners, Emmy winners, and that's just me! ---->>>

I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express. ---->>>

Thankfully, dreams can change. If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.

Thankfully, dreams can change. If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.

If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself. ---->>>

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. ---->>>

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character. ---->>>

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'

Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy. ---->>>

It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. ---->>>

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell. ---->>>

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.

Reality has a well-known liberal bias. ---->>>

I not only loved studying theater, I loved being a theater major. It gave me an excuse to brood, to grow a beard, to wear black 'at' people. I didn't just want to play Hamlet, I wanted to be Hamlet. ---->>>

I can't prove it, but I can say it. ---->>>

I love being onstage. I love the relationship with the audience. I love the letting go, the sense of discovery, the improvising. ---->>>

The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you. ---->>>

And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself. ---->>>

I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.

I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.

If I had free time to go to Los Angeles to shoot a movie, I would rather spend it with my kids. ---->>>

I deliver my Truth hot and hard. ---->>>

I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions. ---->>>

I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes. ---->>>

What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press. ---->>>

All I can do is today and tomorrow and have some idea of what we're doing next week. That's all I can worry about. ---->>>

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry. ---->>>

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians. ---->>>

We have this idea in our minds that there's this separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics - not just church and state, but it's also there's a separation of religion and politics. But of course there isn't. ---->>>

The trouble with the jokes is that once they're written, I know how they're supposed to work, and all I can do is not hit them. I'm more comfortable improvising. If I have just two or three ideas and I know how the character feels, what the character wants, everything in between is like trapeze work. ---->>>

I spent my first two years at a small all-male college in Virginia called Hampden-Sydney. That was like going to college 120 years ago. The languages, a year of rhetoric, all of the great books, Western Man courses, stuff like that. ---->>>

My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs. ---->>>

My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close. ---->>>

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character. ---->>>

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart. ---->>>

I love being onstage. ---->>>

I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does. ---->>>

I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host. ---->>>

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars. ---->>>

We have this idea in our minds that there's this separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. ---->>>

No, my mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close. ---->>>

Biography

Nationality: American
Born: 05-13, 1964
Birthplace: in Washington, District of Columbia, The United States
Die:
Occupation: Comedian

Stephen Tyrone Colbert (, né: ; born May 13, 1964) is an American comedian, television host, and author. Colbert has hosted The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, a late-night television talk show on CBS, since September 8, 2015. Colbert originally studied to be a dramatic actor, but became interested in improvisational theatre while attending Northwestern University, where he met Second City director Del Close (wikipedia)