Tommy Cooper - Quotes

There are 12 quotes by Tommy Cooper at 95quotes.com. Find your favorite quotations and top quotes by Tommy Cooper from this hand-picked collection . Feel free to share these quotes and sayings on Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr & Twitter or any of your favorite social networking sites.

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.' ---->>>

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.' ---->>>

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. ---->>>

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone. ---->>>

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' ---->>>

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.' ---->>>

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.' ---->>>

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure. ---->>>

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience! ---->>>

Biography

Nationality: British
Born: 03-19, 1921
Birthplace: Caerphilly, Glamorgan, Wales
Die: 04-15, 1984
Occupation: Comedian
Website:

Thomas Frederick "Tommy" Cooper (19 March 1921 – 15 April 1984) was a British prop comedian and magician. Cooper was a member of the Magic Circle, and respected by traditional magicians. He was famed for his red tarboosh, and his appearance was large and lumbering, at 6 feet 4 inches (1.93 m) and more than 15 stone (210 lb; 95 kg) in weight (wikipedia)